On this page I'll be taking a look at questions asked on the internet that lead people to my website and hoping to answer them incase they didn't find the answers they need.
If anyone has any further questions they'd like answered feel free to email info@nostalgesia.co.uk
December 2012
This months burning question is....
does the new total recall have the three breasted woman - No, so you may as well not bother watching it.
why did they knock down the berlin wall - Ronald Reagan told Russia to, so they did.
how to become a vigilante like batman - Lead your parents down a dodgy back alley and watch them get killed by a criminal, let the dark feelings of revenge that you now have fester and grow until you are an adult and a billionaire, buy lots of cool gadgets and go out killing criminals, easy.
war cry usng the word puma - How about "Battle Puma! GO!" or "Mighty Puma Power!"
in the ending of freddy vs. jason do they both die and go to heaven?? - Unless there is a secret alternate ending on the DVD, no they don't. I don't think they let evil child killing demons into heaven.
November 2012
This months burning question is....
how to be a ghost - Get killed in a traumatic way and make sure there's an important message that you didn't get chance to deliver while you were alive. You should now come back as a ghost. If you see anyone hanging around with a vacuum cleaner and a priest you should float away somewhere else though.
October 2012
This months burning questions are....
being a vigilante with a bow and arrow - Is a lot harder than it looks on TV's Arrow, Olympic archers that train every day for hours can't hit the bull every time and they are stood still, taking their time to aim and shooting a stationary target, if you think you are going to hit a running criminal as you jump down from the rooftops you'll be very disappointed as your arrow pings harmlessly off a nearby wall and you crash to the floor breaking your ankles.
big trouble in little china straw hat replica - Can be bought from here but it does cost $3500 so you need to really want one and make sure you never accidentally sit on it.
michael jackson and midgets - Real photo, staged situation, taken while Michael was filming Disney theme park attraction Captain EO, the midgets were in one of the alien costumes in the film and the bottle contains water.
how can you become a vigilante like the guy in taken - Join the CIA, get trained up to be a complete badass and then retire, send your teenage daughter backpacking around Europe on her own, when she is kidnapped, hooked on drugs and sold into the sex trade you can now become a vigilante like Liam Neeson in Taken, easy.
ghostbuster ghosts - Librarian ghost woman, slimer, Terror dogs, Stay Puft marshmallow man, sexy sex ghost, taxi driver, goza
cartoon dog like the fonz - That would be Mr. Cool, a dog that should be put to sleep by the nearest available vets, just look at his stupid face!
photos of famous celebs with skinheads - Here's a few and they all look a billion times worse than they did with hair.
the end of the movie you see the kids dead in a school bus on the bottom of the lake - Could be Trick r Treat
how would a vigilante find work? - Read the newspaper or watch the news, find a crime where the police don't know whats going on and then start your own investigation, I'm pretty sure vigilantes don't get paid so you won't get people trying to hire you, you might want to be a hitman instead.
what are the odds of becoming a vigilante - About 20/1
freddy krueger killing someone - Here he is killing a comic book nerd
fotos de freddy krueger vs jackson - I don't think Freddy Krueger ever had a fight with Michael Jackson unfortunately, although that could be how MJ lost his nose. The only link between the two seems to be that they both tend to only wear one glove.
micheal jackson sleeping in bubble - I think you may have mixed up two stories about Michael Jackson, one where he sleeps in an oxygen chamber and one about his pet chimp Bubbles. It's possible that if Michael and Bubbles had ever found themselves lost in Antartica Michael would have slit Bubbles stomach open and crawled inside his warm corpse to have a sleep in the same way that Han Solo does with his Tauntaun in Empire Strikes Back, but unfortunately they never found themselves in that situation so all we can do is imagine it.
September 2012
This months burning questions are....
Bald man with leather jacket 80s song - Rob Halford from Judas Priest?
quick kick dead - Yes, he was one of the Joe team that was killed in Trucial-Abysmia by being in a tank that was blown apart by Cobra.
why do they add stupid sidekick characters in cartoons - Because of cartoon makers trying to appeal to girls. Stupid girls, they've got their own cartoons, you don't see machine gun toting tough guys getting added as sidekicks to Rainbow Brite, Care Bears or Strawberry Shortcake cartooons so they shouldn't make boys have to suffer creations like Uni or Zuffy.
August 2012
This months burning questions are....
can you be a vigilante if you dont kill anyone - No, vigilantes must kill people to be authentic, death is the only justice that the scum you are chasing deserve.....oh no wait I got that wrong, NO YOU SHOULDN'T KILL ANYONE. If you must be a vigilante you should ideally be aiming to gather enough evidence to give to the police so the person can be arrested and tried in court.
dream walking through loads different doors - To dream of walking through an endless stream of different doors is your subconscious telling you that you need to come out of the closet and admit that you are gay. Don't be afraid, the word, gay, used to mean happy so being homosexual will make you happy.
80 s computer ninja game - Could be one of a billion games that featured ninjas, one of my favourites was Ninja Master which involved testing your reflexes and stamina to block arrows and shuriken and chop wood. It's what I used as part of my ninja training.
80s movie with girl who gets kidnapped and trained by govt - Probably Nikita even though that was released at the start of the 90's. If you're cool it could be Black Cat, which is basically a Hong Kong version of Nikita.
michael jackson hair on fire conspiracy - Are you suggesting that this never happened and the footage was faked like the moon landing conspiracy to cover up the fact that Michael's hairdresser just made a complete balls up of cutting Michaels hair just before filming was due to start or that Michael's hair was deliberately set on fire by evil Coca-Cola sabateurs?
michael jackson drawing - Here's one I did of Michael performing Bad
if i want to be a vigilante should i kill the people - What the hell? - NO!!!
what is needed if one wants to become a vigilante - I suspect that this is a very posh person, possibly a member of the Royal Family, searching the internet for tips on being a vigilante. A Royal vigilante would be pretty cool as they'd have the funds for cool gadgets like Batman, I hope this is Prince Harry's latest way to annoy his family and he starts patrolling the streets doling out justice to street scum. But definately NOT killing them.
something to make with 1p coins - If you get 100 you could make a pound. You could glue them to clothing to make a fasion statement about how much money you have. You could arrange them on a table to make a smiley face.
what a vigilante must know - That killing people is bad
was there an episode of scooby doo where fred was the masked man? - Yes, he was never caught though as he knew exactly how to avoid the rest of the gang and left sandwiches in a nearby barrel, "accidentally" stepped on Thelma's glasses the day before and blackmailed Daphne into keeping quiet with some compromising photos he'd taken while controlliing her in her dreams from when he became Freddy Krueger in that other episode.
early 80's computer game involving a hero and princess - This would be the 50% of 80's computer games that didn't involve ninjas. You probably mean Super Mario Brothers, that was pretty popular,
80s straw hat ninja - I like the one in Big Trouble in Little China that was obviously a big inspiration for Raiden from Mortal Kombat. Some ninjas also used straw hats as part of their training by running up mountains with one against their chest, if they don't run fast enough the hat falls and they have to chase it and pick it back up. Sakura Killers, possibly the greatest ninja films ever, includes this form of ninja training.
what colour are freddy's pants in freddy vs jason - I'm guessing you are American and mean trousers, they are black in this one. If you mean his underpants, they are white.
July 2012
This months burning questions are....
how to make a ghost bust - Keep filling it with air until it pops, no wait that's how to make a balloon bust, I don't know how to make a ghost bust.
michael jackson transformation - Using state of the art morphing technology we can show Michael's transformation from boy to man to robot to man to zombie.
80s movie dad pours milk over kids head - I don't know this one but if the only memorable scene is some kid getting milk poured on his head it's probably not worth tracking down.
freddy jason have fun - Another episode of "little teens jason vs freddy" mentioned in May, in this episode Freddy and Jason have fun catching and killing squirrels then mailing their mutilated bodies through their neighbours letter boxes.
is michael jackson really dead - No, he is currently touring Nepal with Elvis and Glenn Miller, don't try and get tickets though, it's sold out.
June 2012
This months favourite Google searches that lead to my site are....
fred as freddy krueger scooby doo - This was the episode of Scooby Doo where a ghost wearing a hockey mask was killing sexually active teens at the local holiday camp. After doing the usual running around, hiding in barrels and eating large sandwiches, Fred came up with an idea. The rest of the gang burned him up and Fred came back as a ghost that could control dreams which came in handy for destroying the baddie ghost. Next episode Fred had plastic surgery to get rid of his burn scars and told the rest of the gang he'd lost his dream control powers. Velma and Daphne both suspected he was lying after a month of very disturbing, but kind of exciting, dreams.
can i use a vacuum cleaner to kill the ghost - No, you can only use a vacuum to draw the ghost in and contain it momentarily while a holy man banishes the spirit to a more suitable realm.
man with a crossbow on motorbike film - Mad Max 2
www.police guards protector helmet and in half past dead stick.com - I'm guessing this domain is still available and the person searching for it doesn't understand how the internet works.
dolph lundgren film where he thinks about the girl in the shower - Trick question, Dolph Lundgren thinks about girls in the shower during every film he's in and also when he isn't making films.
big hands return of the jedi - Ah yes, the sought after rare print of the Special Edition Return of the Jedi where everyone had big hands. George Lucas really needs to leave his films alone and stop messing with the CGI.
May 2012
This months favourite Google searches that lead to my site are....
little teens jason vs freddy - This was the spinoff TV series that was made about Jason and Freddy living together on the same street, before Jason drowned and Freddy got burned up, the storylines mainly focus on Jason and Freddy getting into trouble with their grouchy neighbours for killing their pets or visiting relatives etc. To be clear they didn't get in trouble for visiting relatives, they got in trouble for killing their neighbour's visiting relatives. It was cancelled after 4 episodes.
michael jackson and princess diana - Apparently they only met once, after one of Michael's concerts, he'd taken Dirty Diana off the set list out of respect for Diana and she told him to put it back in because she wasn't afraid of admitting that she was dirty. Although they only met once, they did talk on the phone a lot after that, mainly comparing Charles and Bubbles and moaning about how famous they were.
do a waistcoat and ripped jeans go? - Yes they do, now you just have to decide if you wear a tshirt under the waistcoat or just go for a bare chest.
April 2012
This months favourite Google searches that lead to my site are....
what do vigilantes need? - Nunchuks, a knife and a headband or mask
michael jackson gang violence - Michael ended gang violence in 1983 by showing gangs that dancing together was better than knifing each other, he used real gang members fro the bloods and crips in the music video for Beat It and everyone was pleased with finally having peace. The second verse of Beat It contains a line that with hindsight showed the tragedy that would follow.
You Better Run, You Better Do What You Can
Don't Wanna See No Blood, Don't Be A Macho Man
You Wanna Be Tough, Better Do What You Can
So Beat It, But You Wanna Be Bad
Yes, Michael, despite telling the bloods and crips to either run away from a fight or dance with each other actually wanted to be bad and started his own dancing street gang in 1987 to combat his nemesis Wesley Snipes who had a smaller less successful gang. I think Michael might be mad at Wesley for not fixing the pipes in the car park where they dance but I may have misread the situation.
crispin glover killed by freddy - This happened when Freddy Krueger got jealous of Jason Voorhees and killed all of the actors that had appeared in Friday the 13th movies in their dreams. Crispin was killed while dreaming about being on a chat show.
80s movie of a traveling carnival with midgets - Possibly The Funhouse
ghost took egg from my fridge - I hate when they do that!
what should I become a vigilante or cop - A cop would mean you get paid and don't go to jail for stopping criminals so it appears to be an easy decision. If you are a millionaire and don't need a paying job be a vigilante like Batman, everyone likes Batman.
skills needed to become a vigilante - Fighting, interrogating, sneaking and detecting would be the main ones you need.
gi joe cobra ice cream soldier - In the mid 90's Gi Joe were running out of good ideas and had a flamethrower guy with an ironic codename of ice cream soldier. Its stupid and shouldn't have been allowed
cenobites names - Are Pinhead, Butterball, Chatterer and The Female according to wikipedia. I don't think anyone could be bothered to think of proper scary names for them. Can you guess which is which?
March 2012
How to kill a cucumber with a really annoying sidekick - So many interpretations of what you could you mean, is it a mutant cucumber that has human-like characteristics or do you consider all plant and vegetable life as alive in its natural state and just want to know the best way to smash up a normal everyday cucumber? Does the cucumber have an annoying sidekick or do you want to kill the cucumber using an annoying sidekick as a weapon?
I imagine swinging Snarf by his tail at the cucumber very hard would do the job.
What to have after the apocalypse? - If you survived, a party seems appropriate, if you didn't survive, a very long sleep.
Has judge reinhold had plastic surgery?
Comparing photos of him when he was younger and what he looks like now, it appears he has had a few pounds of fat injected into his face.
paul kersey vs freak 1 - Unfortunately Paul Kersey never bumps into the people that set him on his path to being a vigilante so we don't get to see him kill Jeff Goldblum in Death Wish. We do get to see him beat Jeff Goldblum up and steal his wallet in St. Ives though so I hope this video keeps you happy.
February 2012
ferris bueller's day off car - Was a replica of a 250 GT Spider California SWB, you can also drool over this car in Charlie's Angels 2 and Munster Go home! If you want one it will cost you a few million pounds.
why do people hate vigilantes? - Because they are not bound by the rules that the police follow and won't stick to the same formula of gathering evidence, taking statements from reliable witnesses and having a trial to prove guilt. Without following the rules of the law innocent people end up being wrongly attacked by vigilantes and they don't like it, this makes them hate vigilantes.
king kong movie nude scene - Now why would you want to see this?
salute of the juggler - I'm glad someone actually thought this was the title, in an apocalyptic wasteland only a traveling group of jugglers can survive!
girls naked butt that is trapping boys in a room - Sounds like the kind of devious trap that the Saw films pride themselves on, but from one of the later ones when they are running out of ideas, this one was probably from Saw 9.
beach babes from beyond songs - Apparently its not an actual real band as there are no song listings in the credits so you can only enjoy the music while watching the film.
aliens took my drugs - Pretty sure you took your drugs and imagined some aliens while you were tripping away on a psychedelic space trip.
how to become a vigilante without your parents knowing - A hidden shelf in the bottom of your wardrobe where you can keep your weapons and mask will help. Make sure they can't view your internet history too or searching for this will be a dead give away.
if you were a vigilante what would you wear? - You should go for a headband, denim waistcoat and ripped jeans. Or a crazy animal mask.
shark playing volleyball - erm, what?
scooby doo mask -Click on the image below and print it out, attach some string and voila!
people that live in the desert - Nomads or if you live in the mythical universe of Dune, they are called Fremen
80s movie where girl has sex on a trampoline - Take Me Home Tonight has a trampoline sex scene and is set in the 80's, will that do?
when i go to school i get called pee pants - Try to stop wetting yourself in public or be like the great Adam Sandler's character in Billy Madison
3rd Grader: Hey look everybody, Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES. You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey look, Ernie peed his pants too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH. That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go.
michael jackson bubbles hair on fire - Photographic evidence of Michael setting Bubbles on fire as punishment for the time Bubbles laughed when Michael had his head set on fire by Pepsi. Michael is also waving around bottles of Coke as a subtle dig at Pepsi, that guy was crazy!
January 2012
A lot of interest in whether Corey Feldman has had plastic surgery, I think he may have had work done on his one grizzled up ear that he used to have.
freddy krueger vs kevin - I believe this may be related to the Halloween Special episode of The Wonder Years where Kevin, played by Fred Savage, starts having nightmares about his friends being killed by a badly scarred paedophile that his parents burned to death a few years previously. Unfortunately Paul wasn't one of his friends that died.
brother tricks boy into thinking hes a robot movie - Long shot would be A.I. but a better bet would be Josh and S.A.M which I've never heard of.
are there any cartoon sidekicks? - Yes, they are mostly annoying, look here
film guy wearing motorbike helmet gets blown up by hand granade - This happens in the French film Dobermann which is quite a good film.
what are the mossman prophecies? - They are the words of truth and wisdom as spoken by He-Man's enemy, Moss-man. Dare to see what your future holds?
what film does rutger hauer kill people by smashing their nose into their skull? - I'm not sure on this one but it could be the Guiness Advertisements from the 80s
who is the big white guy starring in half past dead 2 - That would be Bill Goldberg
December 2011
Lots of people still looking for guides on being a vigilante, one person even wanted a book on the subject
Would you get arrested for being a vigilante - Yes, unless you keep your identity secret like Batman
Photos Madonna come Diana - I don't know if this was a search for one of Madonna's erotic photos like the type she had in her "Sex" book featuring Princess Diana but I doubt that such a photo exists.
80s film dad swap child - This is probably Vice Versa starring Fred Savage and Judge Reinhold. If you like Vice Versa you might also like, Dream a Little Dream, Freaky Friday, Big and Invasion of the Body Snatchers which all have a similar theme.
Freddy Krueger and Jason friends - No they are not, when they see each other out and about one of them tends to cross the street.
Dangerous toys from the 80s - Aside from the ones I've mentioned elsewhere on this site there were numerous stuffed animals that were filled with flammable stuffing and had loose eyes that could be choked upon.
80s movie killer with black round sunglasses and white hair - I'm drawing a blank on this, I would guess at it starring Malcolm McDowell or Rutger Hauer but I can't find any evidence of them wearing sunglasses in any films except Rutger in Blind Fury and they were not round sunglasses and he's a good guy so it can't be that. Anyone else have any ideas?
Shot by an uzi - You should be calling an ambulance not searching the internet for advice
Want to reverse time - Superman is your best option for doing that
Lundgren Jack Black - I'm guessing you wanted Black Jack and not a comedy film starring Dolph Lundgren and Jack Black which I guess would play out very similar to Red Heat
November 2011
Lots of people are interested in being a vigilante, some example searches are:
i want to be a vigilante
how to be a vigilante
so you want to be a vigilante
how to become a vigilante
i want to become a vigilante
why do cops hate vigilantes
why you should become a vigilante
guide to being a vigilante
i want to be a vigilante is that bad
anybody want a vigilante
The people that are searching for ways to be a vigilante should stop looking for a website to join and just go out and do it, just remember that a lot of criminals are high on drugs and have a tendency to react violently when apprehended while committing a crime, also cops hate vigilantes and will try and stop you which is why having a website for your vigilante group would be a bad idea as the cops could easily find you.
This brings us to item 6, why do cops hate vigilantes? Cops hate vigilantes because they don't follow the same procedures that they do for finding evidence and make sure the people they arrest are truly guilty, vigilantes will often just attack people based on rumours and hearsay and can injure or kill innocent people.
Item 9 - its not bad to want to be a vigilante, it is bad to beat people to death in the street even if they robbed your mums house.
Item 10 - I don't know if this person found an ad somewhere for someone wanting to hire a vigilante, but I hope they did.
Other searches in November were
slimer vs snarf - slimer would win
man with a crossbow eighties movie - That would be The Adventures of William Tell
death wish 5 does anyone get rape - If I remember right a woman is almost raped at the start but it's just a dream
chuck norris oozie - I believe you wanted a picture of Chuck Norris with an Uzi and not a picture of Chuck Norris with weeping sores and pus filled spots
