| |
That's me in the middle there, code name "Big Guns", yes I know that's a bad code name, up there with Snow Job and Ice Cream Soldier (Yes there is a figure called Ice Cream Soldier, I don't know why) as the worst name ever but I was only 9 so that was the best I could do.
I joined Action Force in 1987, after Cobra Island had legally been recognised as a legitimate sovereign state (major balls-up), but before the Cobra Civil War. I met with Flint at the Pit and he pointed at me and said "ACTION FORCE NEEDS YOU!", then he gave me my membership card.
|
|
| |
Action Force was the European counterpart to USA's GI Joe, our battle cry was "Full Force!", we never give up, we're always there, fighting for freedom over land and air. But in 1989 Action Force and G I Joe were forced to merge and become a more effective fighting force, now known as G I Joe, the Action Force. I was partly to blame for what happened next, I signed the treaty to agree to the merger.
We were forced to shout "Yo Joe!" when running into battle and were pretty much sidelined when it came to picking personnel for the big missions. On the plus side that meant I wasn't on the ill fated mission in Trucial Abysmia that saw Doc, Heavy Metal, Thunder, Crankcase, Breaker, Crazylegs, and Quick Kick lose their lives.
I ended up joining the Arashikage ninja clan with Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, Billy and Jinx and now proudly wear the clan mark on my arm.
This was when Ninjas were still cool, before the word Ninja made people think of turtles (Seriously, I mention ninjas to so many people only for them to say "oh yeah like the turtles" as though that's what turtles are famous for, they weren't even called ninja turtles in the UK, they were hero turtles. I bet people don't say "That firefighter ran into the burning building and rescued 5 kittens, he's a real hero!" and have someone say in response "oh yeah, like the turtles!" stupid turtles) and this was before the retro revival where Ninjas are now somehow cheesy in the same way that David Hasselhoff and Mr T are. Ninjas were a legitimate threat in the 80's, I don't know why, its like you look at history and there's a period of loads of ninjas around the 14th and 15th century, they were everywhere, you rarely saw them, just a rustling of bushes and the swish of a blade, but they were there. Then nothing, for hundreds of years, until the 80's where they made a massive comeback. Best ninja movie ever by the way is Sakura Killers, definately worth a watch if you want to see ninjas how they should be.
Sakura Killers formed the basis of my ninja training, running up hills with a straw hat against my chest, punching bales of hay etc, working in a mince pie factory completed my training in the same way that painting fences and washing cars helped The Karate Kid. Throwing a stack of pies into a box so that they landed 3 in a row became throwing shurikan into the belly of 3 bad guys at the same time. Blocking blows came naturally after picking up boxes of pies and putting them into larger boxes. It's probably hard for you to understand but pie packing can be a transcendental experience. |
|
| |
When I wasn't tossing shurikan around and slicing folk up with my sword I used an Uzi, they were the trendy gun to use during the 80's and early 90's, everybody had one, Chuck Norris, Arnie, the girls in Night of the Comet, even Reagan's secret service agents had them when he got shot.
Glory days, if only I could go back
|
|
